MY FIRST LOVE (Part 1)
Our pastor had been promoted if you will to bishop and was moving to Philadelphia, so he searched for months and found an attractive preacher that was married with 2 kids. Our church instantly fell in love with this young man showering him with all that he needed to take over for the bishop. He was about 6 feet tall with sandy brown hair and green eyes. he was slim when he first moved to our small town but began to get a little bit of a belly as the years went along, he could thank the church mothers for that.
He seemed to take a liking to the young people in our church and encouraged us to sing in the choir and take over some of the responsibilities of the older deacons, we liked him for that. one Sunday after church he asked me if I would like to work with him at the radio station. (Lets stop right here and give this dynamic new pastor a name, I'll call him Mr. B) OK, I said sure Mr. B. Mr. B ran a short Christian program from 6:00 am to 9:00 am and I was over the moon that he asked me to work there.
I emptied trash cans and ran errands while he was on the air and I was happy to do it. He gave me fourteen dollars a week and to me it felt like a hundred. Mr. B was always an affectionate man, but one particular morning on the way home from the station he started to tell me a story and at the same time he was patting my thigh. Like any fourteen year old I could not help but to become aroused by his touch, but I didn't move, instead I moved closer so he would not have to reach so far over. Each week it was the same thing, he would tell me a story and now he was rubbing my thigh. Every other week he would treat me for doing a good job and take me out to eat. He said one day that we will go to a room and have breakfast and just relax. I liked him so much that I never gave it a second thought, I just gestured sure. As the weeks turned into months the rubbing went further and further up my thigh until he got to my member.
I now knew he liked me in a way that was not natural as my mother would say, but I did not stop him.
Just as he promised, one day we skipped our normal breakfast and went straight to a hotel.
When Nameless Ned forwarded Part 2 of "Pastor Pedophile" to be posted my first thoughts were: "I can't post this! Or he is going to have to clean this up, this is a Christian blog site!" Then I came to myself :) Nameless Ned is writing about a real and truthful part of his life and who am I and why would I try to stop or whitewash this reality. Truth and reality is the sole purpose of this blog site.
As you continue to read Part 2 of "Pastor Pedophile" you will see how Nameless Ned graphically explained how this Pastor(a respected leader in the community) totally took advantage of an innocent young boy who obviously already had an attraction for the same gender. However, it infuriates me anytime that an adult decides to involve themselves sexually with a heterosexual or homosexual minor in order to fulfill their sick, selfish, perverted control-issues that has not been properly dealt with from their childhood. The same thing or something similar probably happened to them as a child and then the madness becomes a cycle into their adulthood. Unfortunately, the innocent victim sometimes think and feel that they are in love, not realizing that a serious crime has been committed against them.
PART 2 (continuation)
I became nervous as we were pulling up to the hotel thinking to myself, what have I got myself into. I was asked to wait in the car while he got the room, so I did.When he came back with the room number Mr. B said I'm hungry lets order room service. The room was nice Mr. B liked to stay is some of the best places in town he said. We sat at a little round table and ate our breakfast when he looked up at me and said, I like your eyes, you have bedroom eyes, I smiled and thanked him thinking to myself, what are bedroom eyes? They must be nice because he likes them. Mr. B layed on the King sized bed and beckoned me with a hand motion to come join him. I laid there next to him as still as a rock, not knowing what to do when all of a sudden he rolled on top of me.
As we laid there he asked me a question, do you like me man? I said sure, but he said but what? I asked him what time it was and he said what time do you have to be home I said 10:00 o'clock, he said its ten now!!! As he began to grind up and down on me.
I wondered to myself what time does he need to be at church he has to preach this morning.
One thing led to another and before I knew it I was naked. he reached in his bag which he always has with him and brought out a small jar of Vaseline, I whispered what are you going to do with that? He said I'll show you if you trust me, do you trust me? I said yea, then relax.
He put the Vaseline on his member and slid it between my legs and started pounding, he told me to squeeze my legs tight so that he could feel it which I did, he pumped and pumped until he started sweating over me, then the force became harder and harder and until I felt something wet in between my legs. He said, damn that was good, you alright? until next time.
PART 3 (The Conclusion)
In the conclusion of this horrific story of how one of the "probably" worst child predators in the Church of God in Christ' history took full advantage of the trust and esteem that was placed upon him as Pastor, Counselor, Mentor and friend to a faithful congregation, an innocent family and a naive child. It truly makes me want to cry when I think of the fact that this man had a beautiful wife and children that had to be subjected to his debauched activities.
This story makes you wonder if this pastor stood in his pulpit Sunday after Sunday and preached that traditional religious rhetoric; skewing the interpretation of a few holy scriptures as divisive tools in order to demonize an entire misunderstood population of God's homosexual children in order to deflect the attention from his immoral lifestyle of pedophilia.
PART 3 (The Conclusion)
Winter slowly turned to spring and spring into summer. I quit working for Mr. B because I was getting older and wanted a real job that paid more than $14 dollars a week. Of course I still saw him from time to time but a lot less than I use to. I was now a young adult as they would say in church and I was beginning to smell my self as the older church ladies would say.
Mr. B still had a special place but I was starting to date girls and the two did not mix. The whole summer almost went by without me seeing him, besides in church and I would almost avoid him except for one Sunday morning. Mr. B asked my mom if I could have dinner with him and his family, of course my mother was thrilled that he had asked and said sure he would love that Rev.
He picked me up around 3:00pm and we drove and talked as we normally did he asked me how things were going and how I’d been, I told him things were great I have a girl friend now and we have been going out a few times a week. He seemed excited for me and we even talked about her a little while. As we drove up to his sprawling house I noticed there were no other cars in the drive way I thought for sure my mom told me that I would be having dinner with the whole family. He said come on in; I guess this is your first time here huh? I said yep and continued walking in. Mr. B opened the door and to my surprise the first floor was full of young boys, light ones, dark ones, big and tall and all of them were between the ages of 15 and 18. Some of them I knew from school. Mr. B said hello to his guest then he and I walked right pass them, it was at that moment that I realized I was not special and in fact I felt dirty for being part of so many.
We both walked around the house and down into the basement were he showed me all his suits and jewelry he had enough suits to wear one-a-day for an entire year. The diamond rings and chains were mind blowing! Where did he get all of this stuff? He slowly walked toward me and said “I’ve missed you man, give me a hug.” As he held me I felt his member pushing up against me and as much as I wanted to give in, I gently pushed back and said it was too many people in the house and I couldn’t do anything here. We must have stayed in the basement for at least an hour before coming up and I decided I wanted to go home. I said to my self that's it! I'm not doing-it with him any more he's nasty!!
Summer turned to fall and I was going to a new school, a brand new million dollar school that had open class-rooms, I never heard of that concept before but I was eager to see it. My first day in that school was something I will never forget, me and my best friend at the time Joe was trying to find our home room classes, we were wondering around this amazing school when I heard a familiar voice coming from behind one of the partitions, so I peeked around to see who it was ... Oh Hell No, its Mr. B!!!!!! I looked down at my schedule and he and another teacher was going to be my math teacher, all this time I did not know he was a teacher, I guess because I have never been in the ninth grade before. When me and Joe wondered into his class later in the day he acted as though he barely knew me, that was cool because I was so nervous to be close to him in public. Of course I got a good grade in his class, how could I not get a good grade, he watched me and Joe for an hour each day like we were lunch.
The Church of God in Christ has a conference once a year in different cities, when I was younger I use to love going because it was exciting to go to a different cities and explore what that city had to offer. I was growing up and no longer wanted to go with my parents; this year my mom said that we were going to New Orleans! Yea but you will be praising God the whole time; I won’t get to see any of the city I cried. “You know we always see a little of the city after church baby” my mom said, “besides the pastor and everyone is going,” “No, I'm not going!” I said even stronger this time. Nevertheless, our drive to New Orleans seemed to take forever, driving from PA was a long, long ride but when I looked up to see where we would be staying, it was worth it. The Hyatt Hotel was the best of the best back in the day and I could not believe we were staying there.
Mom and her sister took there shower and got dressed for church, mom allowed me to stay in the room provided I did not go anywhere until they got back. It seemed like 5 minuets after they left the phone rang, “do you know who this is?” I said “yes, of course what's up Rev!” he laughed and said “boy you are getting more mannish by the day, what are you doing?” I said “laying back watching TV until my mom comes back” he said “come to my room.” Little did I know he had already planned to stay close to where we were staying, I said “sure, what room are you in?” I thought to my self now is the time to tell his ass off for being so nasty, I had not forgotten about all of those boys that were at his house and God only knows what he was doing with them.
As I approached the door I became really nervous, thinking maybe now is not the time to go into all of that, I don't want to make him mad. He opened the door with nothing on but a red robe and said “good evening come on in.” Now the blood in my head is pounding I should not have come hear, I'm not strong enough! The robe came off; “Come here and give me a hug, it’s been so long.” Before I knew it, my clothes were off too and we began to touch one another I couldn't help myself, I like this what ever it is, I like it and I like him.... Mr. B said “I want to show you how to do something that will make a man out of you,” I said “OK what is it” “do you trust me” he said, “sure, what is it?” “I want to enter you,” “you want to do what?” “I want to enter you” as he looked into my eyes, I explained that “we tried that before and I did not like it, it hurt too bad; I can't do that.” “I'm going to make you like it today, man it's what two men do.” I thought to myself OK, I will try it again only for 5 minutes just like before and then I’ll tell him to stop. Mr. B relaxed me like a pro; then he began his assault on my body, when he was through I told him that I was leaving; he said “OK, I will see you tomorrow.” What I had done, was it good or bad? I thought to my self. At first I looked at it like this; he did just make a man out of me, then I thought about all the boys before me and I was ashamed that I had let him take something from me that I never even considered giving.
I didn't know the word “pedophile” back then, but he was one of the worst pedophiles I had ever known or heard of. I pushed this experience into the “sea of forgetfulness” until my dear friend Sam asked me to share a story. For some reason and I don't know why, this experience surfaced. I have never told this story to anyone, not even my lover of 20+ years.
I have no hatred toward Mr. B, God dealt with him a long, long time ago. You see Mr. B died a terrible death. First his wife left him and took the children, then he had a stroke which left him debilitated, then diabetes took one of his legs and finally he went into a coma, then he later died.
This prayer go's out to anyone who has ever been taken advantage of by someone else “may God give you the strength to toss that memory into the sea of forgetfulness” otherwise it will eat you alive.To my dear friend Sam; thanks for allowing me to share my story.
Now don't this story sound awfully familiar of recent events that has been aired in the media?
If you have an experience that you would like to share and you would like to have it posted/featured on this site, email firstname.lastname@example.org This should be healing and a lot of fun. I would love to hear your comments. Click on comments just below this line.