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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Why was I born this way? Do we have God's nature?

Why was I born this way? A question that I have always asked myself.
Here are some of the anwers that I have received from religious people:

You were not born with homosexual desires; homosexuality is an evil spirit or a generational curse that has a strong-hold over you. You must be delivered. Only the Holy Ghost will be able to set you free. Homosexuality is unnatural and and not a part of God's holy nature. You chose to be that way.
After many years of developing a strong and intimate relationship with God and sincerely, faithfully and profusely asking him to take away these "evil" desires and asking him to change my nature of having natural affection/attraction for the same gender; God has not yet answered my prayer.

There are some homosexual people who as children were molested or had strong homosexual influences from family members or close friends of their families; They are convinced that those horrible experiences are the reasons for their homosexuality as adults today; that truly was not my experience and I certainly did not choose to have these feelings; why would I?

I am still told that I have to resist that "homosexual spirit" and it will flee, don't give-in to it.
I have resisted fasted, prayed and cried out to God for my deliverance and it has not yet come even after having faith that one day it will go away.

Does God really care about the gender that I have affection and attraction for? Why has he not delivered me?
So you mean to tell me that the man or woman that has "natural affection/attraction" for the opposite sex is blessed? Are they blessed only to deal with the "natural" temptations of the flesh after being born in a world of sin? Am I doubly cursed? Cursed for not having natural affection/attraction towards the opposite sex and cursed for having natural affection/attraction for the same sex.

I have faked the funk (if you will) with the opposite sex in order to fit into this society just like many people do today; then I would think about truth and reality; John 4:24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. John 14:17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
Has God played a dirty trick on on homosexual people?
Does this scripture apply to me?
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My conclusion is that I stopped asking God to change my nature (evidently he knows what he is doing) and I started asking him to let his will be done in my life. It is not about my sexuality and who I may have or not have affection and attraction for...
The real question is, what are you doing with your life and your sexuality to uplift the one that you love? And what are you doing with your love and affection to uplift the most high God who created and loves you?


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