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Friday, May 11, 2007

WHY ME?


WHY ME?

"One of my sisters started to attend and joined this one particular church in the Allison Hill section of the city of Harrisburg, PA. The membership and attendance of young adults were high in numbers. They were “on fire for the Lord”. For some reason this very apparel conscience, conservative congregation really appealed to my sister. The women could not wear pants (she was use to that) no make-up, no jewelry, they could not expose their elbows or toes, they wore these little white laced tapestries on the top of their hair as a covering for their heads. I was 17 or 18 when I attended this church with my sister for approximately over a year.

I enjoyed praising the Lord with so many other young people around my age. The pastor of this church was very charismatic, clever and just a comical individual who really knew and understood people. He made me laugh. I thought that he was very wise. The same man had the ability to charm you and in the same breathe he would prophesy, rebuke and scare the devil out of you. One Friday night he called out these 2 particular guys who were visiting, he had them to come up-front for what I called an “Open Rebuke Session” He told them that God told him that they were homosexuals… the audience gasped and so did I… I knew that I was next. He did not bother me.

Another time he called-out and stood-up each young adult individually and declared that God told him that they all had lustful spirits. The only 2 individuals that he did not call-out were his future son-in-law and I. I just knew that this would be the moment of truth and that I would be exposed of this homosexual spirit that was nagging at me…

I could not figure out and no one could explain to me why was I given this type of cross to bear. I was never molested by anyone; I did not have any homosexual influences from any of my relatives or friends. I had a good relationship with my mother and my father…as a matter of fact they both declared that I was a blessed child and that God would use me.
I would sometimes get into the special prayer lines during revival services and hope that God would reveal my secret to the evangelist or the preacher. Perhaps they would cast that devil out of me."
This weeks posting are excerpts from the chapter "Why Me?" from (Son of a Bishop, My Testimony) I chose these excerpts to show how desperate one can be to change their sexuality, what is in most cases innate. I also chose these excerpts to display how those intimidating, dogmatic practices from the traditional church can damage your psyche.
Samuel
These scriptures really blesses my heart:
Psalm 139:13, For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15, My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17, How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!How vast is the sum of them!
If you have an experience that you would like to share and you would like to have it posted/featured on this site, email son_of_a_bishop3000@yahoo.com This should be healing and a lot of fun. Please let me know your thoughts about this new blogspot by leaving a comment below; I will appreciate your feedback.

9 comments:

born blessed said...

Psalm 139 is my favorite passage of scripture in the bible. You really needed that scipture when you were going through that drama.

Columbus said...

I really like your blog. Its very positive and I like the fact its not filled with
suggestive and risque material. You see so much of that on the net and you start thinking
that's all we have to offer. Keep it up!

Albert said...

This is absolutely incredible. I pray more people will see this an understand the damage they cause people with overly hyped "religious fervor." This is not the Spirit of Christ at work, this is bigotry, prejudice and fear. The most unfortunate thing is that many preachers who lead these charges against people really believe that they are doing what is right and "preaching the truth in love." Love has never hurt so much

Samuel Marcus Brown said...

Albert,

I see that you really get-it. The traditional church that I love so dearly has totally missed the mark when it comes to ministering to SGL people. It will take constant prayer and it will take people like you and what I am doing with this blog and my personal testimony to convey to the traditional church people and church leaders of God's uncommon love and compassion that goes beyond the "religious fervor" and I reallly love your definition of what it really is: "bigotry, prejudice and fear".

Gigi said...

I am not quite sure who you are, but I love the blog spot. I am definitely the number one supporter of gay rights. As a heterosexual woman for some reason I more drawn to the violations that LGBT's suffer than to the civil rights issues that I, an African-American woman face. I will pass this on to my friends and loved ones who in turn will pass this on as well. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to support your cause.

Thanks for the email.
Gigi

Harold said...

This spot is doing a great service in this world. Some youngin will
be saved from insanity because you are there. Continue to speak to
those who have been beat down and otherwise abused. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

I say Amen to the comment about "traditional church people and leaders". This is exactly the point. A lot of so called "shepherding" is not be done in the spirit of Love. I encourage everyone to search for more Truth. Really examine what you are being taught at church on the basic levels
11 Now the latter were more noble-minded than those in Thes·sa·lo·ni′ca, for they received the word with the greatest eagerness of mind, carefully examining the Scriptures daily as to whether these things were so.
(Acts 17:11)
Most of you will be surprised to find that many so called are "blind guides". Jesus talked of such ones in Matthew 23.

In short, once one gets closer to the Truth, "What The Bible Really Teaches" then there is hope to be helped and not condemned by "qualified" shepherds of God's Word.
Besides, knowing more basic scriptural truth motivates you more to put on that new life saving personality.
9 Do not be lying to one another. Strip off the old personality with its practices, 10 and clothe yourselves with the new [personality], which through accurate knowledge is being made new according to the image of the One who created it,
colossians 3;9,10

Samuel Marcus Brown said...

Amen, Amen & Amen to anonymous.

One Man’s Opinion said...

This post really touched me because it addressed a lot, if not all, of the struggles I had growing up in a church where you feel that everytime the pastor says something about homosexuality that his finger is pointed right at you. I remember that in the baptist church I went to there was a little poster that readl "I know I am something, because God doesn't make junk." That poster helped me make it through a lot of insecure moments. Peace.