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Saturday, September 13, 2008

Why was I born this way? Do we have God's nature?

Why was I born this way? A question that I have always asked myself.
Here are some of the anwers that I have received from religious people:

You were not born with homosexual desires; homosexuality is an evil spirit or a generational curse that has a strong-hold over you. You must be delivered. Only the Holy Ghost will be able to set you free. Homosexuality is unnatural and and not a part of God's holy nature. You chose to be that way.
After many years of developing a strong and intimate relationship with God and sincerely, faithfully and profusely asking him to take away these "evil" desires and asking him to change my nature of having natural affection/attraction for the same gender; God has not yet answered my prayer.

There are some homosexual people who as children were molested or had strong homosexual influences from family members or close friends of their families; They are convinced that those horrible experiences are the reasons for their homosexuality as adults today; that truly was not my experience and I certainly did not choose to have these feelings; why would I?

I am still told that I have to resist that "homosexual spirit" and it will flee, don't give-in to it.
I have resisted fasted, prayed and cried out to God for my deliverance and it has not yet come even after having faith that one day it will go away.

Does God really care about the gender that I have affection and attraction for? Why has he not delivered me?
So you mean to tell me that the man or woman that has "natural affection/attraction" for the opposite sex is blessed? Are they blessed only to deal with the "natural" temptations of the flesh after being born in a world of sin? Am I doubly cursed? Cursed for not having natural affection/attraction towards the opposite sex and cursed for having natural affection/attraction for the same sex.

I have faked the funk (if you will) with the opposite sex in order to fit into this society just like many people do today; then I would think about truth and reality; John 4:24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. John 14:17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
Has God played a dirty trick on on homosexual people?
Does this scripture apply to me?
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My conclusion is that I stopped asking God to change my nature (evidently he knows what he is doing) and I started asking him to let his will be done in my life. It is not about my sexuality and who I may have or not have affection and attraction for...
The real question is, what are you doing with your life and your sexuality to uplift the one that you love? And what are you doing with your love and affection to uplift the most high God who created and loves you?


I know that you may have some thoughts and concerns, please share them by clicking on comments, just below this line. If you have an experience that you would like to share and you would like to have it posted/featured on this site, email This should be healing and a lot of fun.


Anonymous said...

Serious questions to think about. God is all knowing, right?

TS said...

Very good Samuel!

I have shared your site with others....Thank you for your diligence and insights.

D. Matt said...

Awesome as usual!!! Don’t let up on this, Sam. U have a gift. U should B in the pulpit or how about running for politics. I’m serious. Keep up the GREAT, insightful, thought provoking & interesting work. People from all walks of life can take something from your website.

B Well,

Darius T. Williams said...

Such a great way to end it all...let God's will be done. I love it!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for visiting Antioch COGIC and leaving your prayer request. I wasn't sure if you were requesting prayer or if you were trying to get your point across. Either way, it is my prayer that God blesses you abundantly according to his will and purpose for your life.

Believe it or not, the church has gotten better at its outlook on those who are involved with homosexuality. God loves us all and wants us all to repent no matter what the sin. We've taken on a less judgemental role and a more loving role for individuals who struggle with homosexuality. One thing about it, God has not changed. If He destroyed two cities with FIRE AND BRIMSTONE for the sin of homosexuality, do not be deceived that He has taken a liking to the lifestyle in our day.

Homosexuality remains an abomination in the sight of God. If one truly desires to be free of it, God is not a weakling that He cannot free you. You mentioned that you sincerely fasted, prayed and cried out to God to be delivered to no avail. I want you to know that it is not the character of God not to answer sincere prayer. It is the deception of the enemy to get you to put a timetable on God and then give up when your desired results are not met. The goal is not to get rid of the temptation (thoughts, feelings, desires of homosexuality) but to gain the strength to resist them. When you can resist the temptation to perform the act time and time again, you can consider yourself delivered. Not if you never have another thought or desire about it. If you love God as much as you say you do, stop trying to justify your lifestyle and stop trying to convince yourself and others that God is actually ok with it because He has never been or will ever be. I have not quoted one scripture as basis for what I am saying to you, because you have heard and read them all. I am asking you to go back and read them again from the prespective that this lifestyle does not please God. It will be an inditement on your spiritual and emotional wellbeing at first, but if you humble yourself and tap into the love you have toward God to please Him no matter what, then you wouldn't mind sacrificing your desires for what God desires for your life. Here is a website that I found very informative as well as inspiring concerning individuals who struggle with homosexuality and I would like for you to visit:

May God continue to bestow grace and mercy upon your soul.

Son of a Bishop said...

To Anonymous from Antioch Church of God in Christ; Thank you for taking out the time to respond to my "trying to get my point across" :)
Thank you for your prayers.

Although the church has taken on a more loving role in telling people that the authtenticity of their being is a sin does absolutely nothing for their soul. We were all born into sin however your heterosexuality (I am assuming) and my homosexuality is not the sin. The sin is what one does with their sexuality. God loves us all and he DOES want us to repent for all of our sins, however he DOES NOT want or need us to repent for what he ordained (our authenticity that he chosen not to change)

I will encourage you to go back and study the story of Sodom and Gomorrah historically correct; you are not at all correct in your quote or proclamation that God destroyed that city for the sin of homosexuality.

It is the fundamental teachings and the erroneous interpretations of the scriptures and the picking and the choosing and quoting scriptures from the Mosaic Law that we are NOT living under. This is why you are calling homosexuality a sin in itself and that is why you are passionately telling me how to pretend deliverance. As you stated "God is not a weakling." God is sovereign and all that he does is good, he does not make mistakes.

I will dismiss your questioning my sincerity regarding my prayers and my walk with the Lord Jesus Christ; for he is real to me and you don't know like I know about the fasted relationship that we share. I certainly will not and would not question your walk or relationship with the Lord; I only have great concern for your traditional interpretations of the bible when it comes to homosexuality and homosexual people. Evidently you share the same concern for me and my freedom in Christ and illuminated interpretations. I see that "you didn't get my point" :)

Yes, I pray about and study those scriptures all the time. I highly recommend that you pray, read and study those scriptures outside of your religious tradition and doctrine. You will be amazed what you will find. Please read or re-read the posting on my site entitled
"Is there Really Scriptural Validity in Calling Homosexuality Sin" and "SoulForce"

I will leave you with this:

One perspective leads to brainwashing; two perspectives create a dilemma; but three perspectives open the door to wisdom.

Proverbs 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

fuzzy said...

you know what, I am inclined to say that instead of wanting a quick fix from his "homo spirit", maybe he should begin to ask God why he is a homo! Understand the test so maybe you can pass it! He starts off by asking questions to himself but demands that God remove something from him! Come on now! How about we ask and gain an understanding of why we go through things, not just homosexuality, and then we can go through our test more effectively!

Son of a Bishop said...


Thank you for your very insightful comments. You are right; We all know that test and trials come to make us strong and if you have a clear understanding of who you are and who created you and what God and the scriptures really says about you, then no one will be able to persuade you that the authenticity of you is evil.

With that understandng you will then live a more productive and abundant life focused on your purpose instead of spending your your life wondering why you were cursed. God is sovereign and he does not make mistakes.

Anonymous said...

Son of a Bishop,

I love this posting because it forces people to deal with the issue at hand. As a pastor in a college town I am confronted with the issue all the time. I think if we start loving people and encourage them to seek God's will for their life and as leaders continue to teach the Word of God then our job is fulfilled.

A lot of times we use the bible to try to control people's life. I truly believe that an indiviual is judged according to the Word and the actions with their life or lifestyle. I would love to talk to you about this on a one on one e-mail basis sometime.

Son of a Bishop said...

Anonymous Pastor in a college town,

I really like your logic. I will be looking forward to that email conversation.

gayumbrella said...

Great Article Samuel!

It seems that the use of the 'bible' as man's way of speaking FOR 'GOD', is what has caused more death of God's children, and hell on earth, than all natural disasters since the beginning of time. And it continues.

Once you choose to believe that a book written and rewritten by man(scribes working for a government),is the actual word of our creator, who is the creator of all life in our universe and all other universes, you are left to endless conflict and battle over the words in man's work.

Why? Because man is not perfect.

Just think about it, if a work was created by the creator of ALL, wouldn't it be understood without question by the hearts and minds of those created, cell by cell, by that creator?

Who would know to best how to perfectly, and without question, communicate with each man or women any better than the creator?

So it is no surprise that the bible is used by one group or another to condemn another group who are 'different' or believe something different than themselves.

And since it was written back when the scribes thought the earth was flat, so heaven is above, and hell is below, and as mentioned in this blog, as a justification to enslave other people(God's children), men having several wives, along with the many comments about paying taxes to government entities, it's real stretch to try and even believe that GOD had anything to do with the work.

So looking at the issue of love between God's children, whether they are male or female, it's clear that their love is all that matters.

Could it be the ignorance of those men and women who were lead to believe that their duel gender birth was only about sex and sexuality, and not the Gift of being born with all the qualities and abilities of both males and females in one Duel Gender/Bisexual Being.

It could be that the longer that God's children allow themselves to become defined by and live a lifestyle based on sex and sexuality, they will forever be stuck in a never ending cycle of trying to justify their 'identity' and chosen 'lifestyle'.

The evolution of man continues, and sadly those being left behind, will do all they can to hold back those they feel are advancing, physically and spiritually.

Son of a Bishop said...

Thank you for your very educated synopsis of what the bible means to you in regards to why people are the way they are. Very Very Interesting. Thank you for sharing.