WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE…?
by "The Urban Guru"
The "Urban Guru" is one of the frequent readers of this blog site of whom I've corresponded with via email on different occasions. D' in Philly now better known as the "Urban Guru" asked me if I've ever written a post on this particular subject matter? Our conversation via email took-on a life of it's own. D' in Philly eloquently articulated so much unbridled-truth in our correspondence until I asked him to write the post; he so graciously concurred and he wrote a very stimulating piece.
Get ready ladies and gentleman for an amazing, bumpy and eye-opening ride of truth & reality. So I am introducing to some and presenting to you all the
"The Urban Guru" who will be starting his own blog site very soon.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE…?
by "The Urban Guru"
Although it has been a hot topic for a few years now, the subject of
homosexuality among members of the "church scene" seems to meander
from point to point, reference to reference, with no real direction. This
week, I became a little full, and felt the need to release my own frustration
with the dialogue.
Because I have had down time from work, I've spent a lot of time online,
following leads about people, reading about people I know and don't know.
What started out as an incidental landing on one minister's youtube video led
me into an absolute whirlwind of facts, rumors and realizations. It
started with me learning of one young man who was a dynamic, up and coming
minister in a Texas town. I had no idea who he was and stopped in my
tracks because of his picture. The eyes said it all. Then I found
other videos of this man preaching and exalting God, yet saying so much more
through subtle mannerisms and body language. Things that he probably wasn't
even aware of, or thought he had under wraps. Then I realized this man
has been dead over twenty years now. He was murdered by
intruders into his home that he is said to have known. The bells went off
in my head. Those bells many try to ignore. There were other
mentions that I began to read that led to the possibility that this man had
been living another life, separate from what he displayed in the pulpit and
that this life, had eventually caught up with him in a tragic way.
Then, during the same week, I got a text message from a friend letting me know
that a popular musician and "Bishop" in my town had been found dead in
his home. A young man. So
sad, and such a loss of talent. As I reminisced through his
videos on youtube I ran across new ones I had never seen, those of him actually
preaching. And there he was, talking about people being loose in their
morals and sexually unchaste. Not that unusual, right? Yes, if you
take into consideration that this is the same man who has been seen, taking advantage of a particular clandestine location
where one can participate in giving anonymous oral sex.
Having lived in several large
East Coast cities over the years, I've heard many a story along these
lines. Even prominent ministers, out and about looking for chance encounters
to ease their loneliness. Often times, it seems they think they are
incognito for some reason; that while going to the bath-house or traipsing
about in the cruising park they won't be recognized. Driving around
in their cars late at night, looking for a chance hook-up with the trade of
their liking; getting caught, locked up, having a revival to preach
but needing someone to come to the jail to bail them out (in a semen stained
shirt); perhaps, joining a group of gay men for a stroll through New
York City's Village, wearing clothing that the Saints would collapse in horror
from if they saw the spectacle. Even taking chances on having
an encounter in the church itself, bringing a "date" back to the
office or some secluded nook. If memory serves me correctly, I think
someone once told me he actually had sex on the pulpit, or at least in the
sanctuary, of a church he didn't belong to. If you ever have honest
and revealing conversations with gay men, more and more of these stories
pop up.
In 2012, at a time when the
ways of obtaining instant media are numerous, scandals and their resulting
fallout are available to everyone. Most people in the church are aware of
the mega scandals...the Eddie Longs....etc. Those types of men have been involved
in scandals for years. It just used to take a much longer time to find
out about them and they were more easily hushed. But there seems to be a
lack of attention being paid to the very things that are occurring in
one's own, every day, run of the mill congregation. For example, how
many churches (even the small ones) deal effectively with the obvious
passing of HIV among the gay men in their midst? Yes, there are
churches where there is a core of gay men who tend to hang out together
outside the sanctuary, forming a "supportive" sub-community
that often becomes incestuous, and deadly, once the virus has been
introduced to the mix. But as the deaths come, one by one, the church
goes on, continuing as if there is no real problem. After all, they
brought that judgment down upon themselves didn't they? And the focus,
the bashing, the calling out, most always seems to be directed toward the
men. What about the gay women? Oh that's right. They more
easily blend-in and hide themselves. So, it's mostly the men who get
bashed from the pulpit, those "homa-sexuls". And its these men
who often find themselves trolling about the city late at night, under the
cover of darkness, looking for temporary fulfillment.
But this is nothing
new. We have all heard about these goings on. The problem is that
there has been no change in the way the church is dealing with it.
Obviously, there is a disconnect with the spiritual wellness of men who feel
compelled to seek love in the wrong places. Or to have a meaningful relationship,
yet get into the pulpit and bash the very people they sought love
from. Or choose to remain single yet because of career goals, family
commitments, even the hunger for recognition and power, play the role and
appease the masses. This more often than not, leads to a
"hetero" marriage and even children; until the dust settles and
the true yearnings become too great. The underlying issue has still
not been dealt with and is psychologically maiming. There is no way to
live a well-adjusted adult life when there is such a huge burden to bear, day
after day, year after year. Then the irresponsible behavior starts.
How many gay people have been run away from the church and find themselves
caught up in deviant behavior to ease the pain? How many gay people have
not turned to the church, when in need of spiritual care, because of the
messiness of those in office?
I am so done with Black
church. I really am. And although there
are problems in all denominations, Black and otherwise, I'm
talking just about the Black experience now. And the more I think
about it the more I'm convinced that most Black "religion" is just a
little understanding of the truth of who God is...combined with some nice
stories to make sermons out of...and some iconography gleaned from European
religion. Take that and mix it with a never ending quest for identity and
belonging...and there you have it. But alas, this is not meant to be a
bashing of the Black church. In fact, I love what the Black church
represents. However, I believe there has come a time for stepping back
and reassessing just what is going on. The type of church that helped
usher in the civil rights movement may not be the same type of church that
needs to deal with this new civil rights issue; whether to allow people to be
who they are, without guilt or shame while tending to their spiritual
growth. For those who see it as simply an issue of sin.....if it were as
simple as praying it away, or making someone go to special counseling sessions,
or having a Donny McClurkin give a testimony, then we would see
change. And if one wants to talk of praying away "sin"
then let’s pray away obesity, which is rampant in the church. Let's pray
away divorce. Let's pray away the mixing of fibers in our clothes.
Let's pray away the eating of shellfish (lawd, that would throw some people in
a tizzy and ruin their after church dinners). I have never
heard a mass alter call for any of these wrongs.
The spotlight is usually
always directed toward gays: What about people who call themselves
"bi-sexual"? It would seem they have it easier because
they can perpetrate the hetero life and slip in and out of gay encounters when
necessary. To me, this is even worse. Making a commitment to
someone and betraying that trust, I would think, should call for a greater
rebuke. However, in the church there are probably thousands of seemingly
hetero couples who have various types of secret "setups". The
husband or wife is sneaking out for same sex encounters, or they may even have
an open relationship, whether or not agreed upon. Most often you find the
husbands having "special friends" that they travel with, go on
vacations with, or help get positions within the organization. These are
adult men, often with individual families and careers, who are for all intents
and purposes - lovers. I'm not even mentioning the pedophilia tendencies
of many in the clergy. And with all the various other secret deviant
activity that is actually stewing below the surface, the church still continues
to focus on GAY, GAY, GAY. I could see if one taught against the
irresponsible and whorish activities that seem to be easily enjoyed by
many who are gay. However, the totality of the ranting is primarily a
dismissal of one's actual orientation or identification as a sexual
being. Yet, men and women in church office or dedicated in the pews, must
function as productive members of the organization and even the outside
community, while harboring a broken spirit and psyche. And for those
whose lives are almost totally wrapped up in a church denomination, this can be
nothing but devastating.
This one issue, of whether a
person can actually be in love with someone of the same sex, is so ingrained in
the dogma of the church that it continues to cause the destruction of men and
women who are still, in 2012, wandering the dark streets, taking dangerous
people into their homes, going to conventions with lascivious intentions, lying
to their spouses, having unprotected and uninformed sex and even losing their
lives violently. It is time for the
church to reevaluate it’s approach to this issue. It is also time for gay men and women,
especially those in the church, to begin to respect and honor themselves and
their "temples" so that the thoughts of destructive behavior are
quieted and their lives can be lived more authentically and without church
theatrics to cover the hurt.
I would like for you to forward this posting to some of your Christian and non-Christian friends & family.
I and "The Urban Guru" would love to hear your comments.
If you have an experience that you would like to share and you would like to have it posted/featured on this site, email son_of_a_bishop3000@yahoo.com. Just click-on "Post a Comment" below to write your comments.
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