Friday, January 25, 2008
In the conclusion of this horrific story of how one of the "probably" worst child predators in the Church of God in Christ' history took full advantage of the trust and esteem that was placed upon him as Pastor, Counselor, Mentor and friend to a faithful congregation, an innocent family and a naive child. It truly makes me want to cry when I think of the fact that this man had a beautiful wife and children that had to be subjected to his debauched activities.
This story makes you wonder if this pastor stood in his pulpit Sunday after Sunday and preached that traditional religious rhetoric; skewing the interpretation of a few holy scriptures as divisive tools in order to demonize an entire misunderstood population of God's homosexual children in order to deflect the attention from his immoral lifestyle of pedophilia.
Be sure to later scroll down to view the postings entitled: "Is there really Scriptural Validity in calling Homosexuality Sin"
My First Love (The Conclusion)
Winter slowly turned to spring and spring into summer. I quit working for Mr. B because I was getting older and wanted a real job that paid more than $14 dollars a week. Of course I still saw him from time to time but a lot less than I use to. I was now a young adult as they would say in church and I was beginning to smell my self as the older church ladies would say.
Mr. B still had a special place but I was starting to date girls and the two did not mix. The whole summer almost went by without me seeing him, besides in church and I would almost avoid him except for one Sunday morning. Mr. B asked my mom if I could have dinner with him and his family, of course my mother was thrilled that he had asked and said sure he would love that Rev.
He picked me up around 3:00pm and we drove and talked as we normally did he asked me how things were going and how I’d been, I told him things were great I have a girl friend now and we have been going out a few times a week. He seemed excited for me and we even talked about her a little while. As we drove up to his sprawling house I noticed there were no other cars in the drive way I thought for sure my mom told me that I would be having dinner with the whole family. He said come on in; I guess this is your first time here huh? I said yep and continued walking in. Mr. B opened the door and to my surprise the first floor was full of young boys, light ones, dark ones, big and tall and all of them were between the ages of 15 and 18. Some of them I knew from school. Mr. B said hello to his guest then he and I walked right pass them, it was at that moment that I realized I was not special and in fact I felt dirty for being part of so many.
We both walked around the house and down into the basement were he showed me all his suits and jewelry he had enough suits to wear one-a-day for an entire year. The diamond rings and chains were mind blowing! Where did he get all of this stuff? He slowly walked toward me and said “I’ve missed you man, give me a hug.” As he held me I felt his member pushing up against me and as much as I wanted to give in, I gently pushed back and said it was too many people in the house and I couldn’t do anything here. We must have stayed in the basement for at least an hour before coming up and I decided I wanted to go home. I said to my self that's it! I'm not doing-it with him any more he's nasty!!
Summer turned to fall and I was going to a new school, a brand new million dollar school that had open class-rooms, I never heard of that concept before but I was eager to see it. My first day in that school was something I will never forget, me and my best friend at the time Joe was trying to find our home room classes, we were wondering around this amazing school when I heard a familiar voice coming from behind one of the partitions, so I peeked around to see who it was ... Oh Hell No, its Mr. B!!!!!! I looked down at my schedule and he and another teacher was going to be my math teacher, all this time I did not know he was a teacher, I guess because I have never been in the ninth grade before. When me and Joe wondered into his class later in the day he acted as though he barely knew me, that was cool because I was so nervous to be close to him in public. Of course I got a good grade in his class, how could I not get a good grade, he watched me and Joe for an hour each day like we were lunch.
The Church of God in Christ has a conference once a year in different cities, when I was younger I use to love going because it was exciting to go to a different cities and explore what that city had to offer. I was growing up and no longer wanted to go with my parents; this year my mom said that we were going to New Orleans! Yea but you will be praising God the whole time; I won’t get to see any of the city I cried. “You know we always see a little of the city after church baby” my mom said, “besides the pastor and everyone is going,” “No, I'm not going!” I said even stronger this time. Nevertheless, our drive to New Orleans seemed to take forever, driving from PA was a long, long ride but when I looked up to see where we would be staying, it was worth it. The Hyatt Hotel was the best of the best back in the day and I could not believe we were staying there.
Mom and her sister took there shower and got dressed for church, mom allowed me to stay in the room provided I did not go anywhere until they got back. It seemed like 5 minuets after they left the phone rang, “do you know who this is?” I said “yes, of course what's up Rev!” he laughed and said “boy you are getting more mannish by the day, what are you doing?” I said “laying back watching TV until my mom comes back” he said “come to my room.” Little did I know he had already planned to stay close to where we were staying, I said “sure, what room are you in?” I thought to my self now is the time to tell his ass off for being so nasty, I had not forgotten about all of those boys that were at his house and God only knows what he was doing with them.
As I approached the door I became really nervous, thinking maybe now is not the time to go into all of that, I don't want to make him mad. He opened the door with nothing on but a red robe and said “good evening come on in.” Now the blood in my head is pounding I should not have come hear, I'm not strong enough! The robe came off; “Come here and give me a hug, it’s been so long.” Before I knew it, my clothes were off too and we began to touch one another I couldn't help myself, I like this what ever it is, I like it and I like him.... Mr. B said “I want to show you how to do something that will make a man out of you,” I said “OK what is it” “do you trust me” he said, “sure, what is it?” “I want to enter you,” “you want to do what?” “I want to enter you” as he looked into my eyes, I explained that “we tried that before and I did not like it, it hurt too bad; I can't do that.” “I'm going to make you like it today, man it's what two men do.” I thought to myself OK, I will try it again only for 5 minutes just like before and then I’ll tell him to stop. Mr. B relaxed me like a pro; then he began his assault on my body, when he was through I told him that I was leaving; he said “OK, I will see you tomorrow.” What I had done, was it good or bad? I thought to my self. At first I looked at it like this; he did just make a man out of me, then I thought about all the boys before me and I was ashamed that I had let him take something from me that I never even considered giving.
I didn't know the word “pedophile” back then, but he was one of the worst pedophiles I had ever known or heard of. I pushed this experience into the “sea of forgetfulness” until my dear friend Sam asked me to share a story. For some reason and I don't know why, this experience surfaced. I have never told this story to anyone, not even my lover of 20+ years.
I have no hatred toward Mr. B, God dealt with him a long, long time ago. You see Mr. B died a terrible death. First his wife left him and took the children, then he had a stroke which left him debilitated, then diabetes took one of his legs and finally he went into a coma, then he later died.
This prayer go's out to anyone who has ever been taken advantage of by someone else “may God give you the strength to toss that memory into the sea of forgetfulness” otherwise it will eat you alive.To my dear friend Sam; thanks for allowing me to share my story.
If you have an experience that you would like to share and you would like to have it posted/featured on this site, email firstname.lastname@example.org This should be healing and a lot of fun.I would love to hear your comments. Click on comments just below this line.